Why We Say Um and How to Stop [Infographic]

How to stop saying um and other filler words? Especially after a lifetime of using them. Here’s some advice on how to banish um for good.

Why we say um and how to stop
  • Listen to this article

The struggle is real. To stop saying um and other filler words when speaking is hard. Really hard. As a key account manager, it's inevitable you'll be asked to present and if you want to make your message understood, then you'll need to banish those filler words from your vocabulary.

Why do we say um?

In his entertaining book Um ... Slips, Stumbles and Verbal Blunders and What They Mean, linguist and author Michael Errard traces the history of um and uh and doesn't find a mention of it.  He notes that it's a recent phenomenon (probably due to the invention of the radio) and that most fillers go unnoticed, despite our disdain for them.

So why do we use filler words, like uh and um? It's generally not because of nerves. Stephen D. Cohen, an award-winning public speaker believes it's because we're conditioned to answer questions immediately from an early age. When asked something by parents or teachers we responded straight away out of respect or fear of reprisals.  Now we feel the urge to speak when spoken to - even if we have nothing to say.

We typically use fillers when we're:

  • searching for the right word
  • trying to remember something we've forgotten
  • transitioning to a new idea
  • signalling that your sentence isn't finished.

Some studies show that we use "um" to signal longer pauses, and "uh" to signify shorter ones. Linguist Mark Liberman believes that we say "um" when we're trying to decide what to say, and "uh" when we're trying to decide how to say it.

If you don't think you say "um" or "uh", it's possible you may have your own unique filler word. Listen out for it.  For example, I've  noticed a lot of people say "so" instead of "uh" or "um".

Filler words are fine for personal interactions and day-to-day conversations but don't belong in formal presentations. They can detract from the listener’s ability to understand your message.

Tips on how to stop saying um

Here are some tips on how to stop saying um when speaking and banish filler words from your vocabulary.  Practice makes perfect, so persevere if you find "um" creeping in when you speak.

  • Be prepared. Know your presentation and your content inside and out.  You don't need to memorise it verbatim.  In fact, it's better you don't.  Your presentation may not be as engaging and you might come undone if you forget a chunk of text.
  • Rehearse. Read your presentation or your notes out loud.
  • Don't fill the silence. Take a deep breath instead and use those few seconds to think about what you're going to say.
  • Put it on paper. Fillers like um and uh are most common at the beginning of a statement or when introducing new ideas.  Write down what you are going to say when you segue.
  • Slow down. Speaking more slowly will allow your brain and words to get in synch.
  • Record yourself. How often do you use filler words and when?  Are you saying um when speaking or do you have your own filler word? It might help you catch yourself using them next time.

Need more help to stop saying um?

How To Stop Saying Um Infographic

About the author

Warwick Brown is one of the leading key account management experts in the world. Through The KAM Club, a global membership community for key account managers, his blog that reaches 20,000 people every month, and a range of training and coaching services, Warwick has helped thousands of key account managers get better results, faster.

Want more actionable ideas every week?

Join thousands of sales, customer success and key account management readers and subscribe to the One Step Ahead newsletterEnter your email to receive new ideas that grow client revenue and retention, as well as high quality career, business trends and productivity insights - direct to your inbox. For free!